10 Rules for Relationships

Many compare being in a relationship to playing games, and with any game, you have to know the rules. Here are some rules for healthy relationships.

1. Being with your significant other should make them and leave them a better person.

In dating, there are two options for how relationships end: break up or marriage. Primarily, the first one wins out. That means you will probably have a few shares of heartbreak before you get married. That’s alright. That’s normal. But you should make those relationships meaningful. You dating someone should make you both a better person and enhance both of your lives. If you are dating someone who is making you change your values and making you a worse person, I would suggest you break up. A relationship should enhance your life, not make you miserable.

2. Treat them how you want to be treated.

Somehow we as a society have forgotten the golden rule. Religious or not, it applies to you. If you do not want your girlfriend disrespecting you, belittling you… do not do it to her. If you want your boyfriend to call you, why don’t you call him? It’s not that complicated. All humans deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

3. Compromise

Recently, I read an article about a newlywed couple who did not go on a honeymoon because they could not compromise on a location. They were divorced within the year. Relationships are about getting and also giving. You will not get your way 100 percent of the time. Sometimes you will have to do activities or watch TV shows you dislike, but you do them because they make your significant other happy, and you know he would do it for you. Both people compromising in a relationship are keys to making it healthy and successful. (This does not mean compromising on values and beliefs, though.)

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4. Make your intentions clear.

Do you want to pursue a relationship because you want to have fun in college or do you want to pursue a long-term relationship? Are you expecting casual sex or do you want to wait? What do you want/expect out of a relationship? Before you both enter a relationship, you should both make your intentions clear to each other. If you are not on the same page at the beginning of a relationship, you most likely will be frustrated later on when it is not what you expected or wanted.

5. Make your desires clear.

Most people are absolutely terrible at picking up hints. Men frequently admit to this, and women are generally no better. If you want your girlfriend to take you out to dinner, ask her. If you want your boyfriend to kiss you differently, tell him. There is no way for your significant other to know what you want without you telling them.

6. Do not treat them with contempt.

Contempt is showing disgust in a person, where you have no desire to solve issues in your relationship but simply want to attack and hurt the other person. A relationship psychologist says that if you reach this point in the relationship, it is unlikely that it can be saved.

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7. They are not your servant.

Your significant other is not there to buy you everything you want, take you everywhere you want to go, and do work that you do not want to do. Yes, doing these activities are not bad in themselves. But if your only reason for being in a relationship is to please yourself and have your desires met, it is not a healthy relationship. In relationships, both people should be getting their desires met and then giving them to the other person.

8. They are not your boredom buster.

You should not enter a relationship solely because you are bored being single. This dooms the relationship from the start as you should date someone because you want to invest in their life and do life with them — not because you are bored.

9. Spend quality time with yourself.

You should not spend every waking moment talking to or with your significant other. You need time to yourself. You should have interests and hobbies that you do without your boyfriend. In a relationship, you should not lose your self-identity and worth.

10. Realize that different is not bad.

In relationships, it is two people coming together. Most likely you come from different backgrounds and ways of life. You have to learn that your way of living is not the only correct way to live your life. You can learn a lot and enrich your life by experiencing different cultures and ways of life.

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Would you add any other relationship rules to this list?

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