Children have no filter and are trying to process and understand their world, so often what they same is comical. Here is a sampling of one-liners and conversations from the preschool and from babysitting. Enjoy.
“Are walkie talkies a food group?”
“I think I can handle that, I watched a man go into a coma and come out a cat, so I think I have a handle on this whole life thing.”
Me: What’s your favorite animal?
Four year old girl: Definitely grump cat, he is very grumpy and he is a cat
Me: What’s your favorite thing to do?
Four year old girl: Fart
“I have three eyes Miss Jessica, you just can’t see the third one.”
Two year old: I have a joke for you Miss Jessica
Me: OK, what is it?
Two year old: Why is the slide orange?
Me: I am not sure
Two year old: cause (as she proceeds to laugh incessantly)
“My brain is a little better than that of a squid.”
“Breaking up with someone is like having a dementor suck out your soul”
Four year old: What is your mom and dad’s name?
Me: Jill and Wally
Four year old: Really? My mom and dad’s name is mommy and daddy.
“We are playing naked and afraid except for we’re not naked or afraid”
Me: What are your plans for the future?
Six year old girl: death and probably a retainer.
“That sounds like an old lady trying to play the piano but just can’t get her fingers right”
“On snapchat you can be yourself, but on Facebook you don’t know if someone is a pony wearing a cowboy hat.”
“Can only people named Mary get married?”
“I found a jaguar caterpillar. This little worm will turn into a great big cat”
(to a boy building with bricks) Are you Donald trump building that wall?